Songs dig holes in the air and sometimes I fall into those holes. I got trapped in a hole made by a song about badgers.

The countryside is full of holes. Many of them are the result of Melanie's songs. When she was young she used to share an ear with her sister. They started singing together. When they sing everyone joins in. People for miles around will sing and they can't stop until they get to the end of a song.

Sometimes strange creatures emerge from the holes. The singers have to keep singing and hope that these creatures don't have sharp claws.

No one pays any attention to the lyrics because they're wondering what's going to swoop down out of the sky and attack them. One of those creatures terrorised everyone in the area for weeks. He came out of a huge hole made by a song about making servants wash themselves at least once a week. This creature used to sniff people. They found this more terrifying than having their hair cut by a monkey (in fairness, the monkey is getting better at cutting hair). We were working on a plan to shoot him down, but his reign of terror came to an end when he started sniffing the fire on top of Maurice's chocolate factory. Maurice keeps it burning to stop helicopters from landing on it. The fumes from the fire would make the monkey faint, but the creature in the sky loved the smell. He's still there, hovering over the factory. Maurice charges tourists who want to see him.

Bertie: If Louise told him to jump off a cliff, would he do that?
Roy: Probably. She told him to become Batman, and he did his best. He came very close to succeeding. He modified his car to make it into a bat mobile, and it nearly killed a swan. He found a nemesis in a Norwegian man, but the Norwegian man was too strong. Bob kept losing their battles. The real Batman wouldn't have done that.




Bertie: Did you really invent it, or did you find it pecking at your head when you woke?
Bob: I invented it.
Bertie: What raw materials did you use?
Bob: Some of the raw materials were things I found pecking my head when I woke, but I also used some glue, some paper and a few raisons.
Roy: My uncle Willie invented something similar a few years ago. Because of the frequency with which his head ends up on the ground, it was only a matter of time before his invention started pecking his head. If you're going to invent something whose only reason for being is to peck things, make sure that its beak isn't sharp enough to make a hole in your head.
Bertie: I've often said so.


Roy: I know. If it makes another hole in your head, something even worse could come out of that. In fact, that creature could have come from a hole you made by singing a song in your sleep.
Bob: No, I invented it.

Grey  # 6:51 AM